Friends, Do you have a 'John?' Let me explain...
I visited with a friend of mine yesterday over lunch. Actually he is more than a friend. He is a board member and, more importantly, a long time mentor. His name is ''John." One of the reasons I love being with John is that he does something that few people do anymore. He lingers with you. You get the feeling that, if he does have an agenda, that agenda is you. Another reason I love John is because he tells great stories. I think John knows just about everyone who has ever lived in, or near, Delaware county!
Most of all, I love being with John because he has had the courage to risk our relationship for my sake and, if necessary, to fight me, for me. What I mean by that is that John is willing to address, ever so gently, those habits or dispositions of mine that are injurious to me and/or to others. For example, years ago I dropped by his office, which was located in the basement of our church.... On this particular day I was moaning about someone or some situation I was dealing with. After listening for a while, John stopped me mid sentence, paused, looked me in the eye and said this: ‘You need to win, don’t you?’ He went on to explain that he’d noticed that, for whatever reason, I seemed to have a need to win whenever disputes arose. He explained to me (and this is important: without lecturing me), that more often than not, following Christ means that we must be willing to lose.
It means a willingness to lose...... our reputation, approval, popularity, disputes, rights, games, recognition, money, time, income, status, a job and, in the most extreme instances, our very lives.
John was spot-on that day. I was raised in a toxic world in which 'real men' win....at everything. I am so grateful that he is/was willing to go with me, where few others are willing to go. He uncovered and laid bare something that was (and can continue to be) cancerous in my life: The need to win. It takes many forms, like:
The need to be ‘right.’ (to win intellectually) The need to ‘get credit’ (to win socially). The need to be thought 'righteous' (to win morally). The need to utter 'the final word' (to win rhetorically).
Do you have a 'John?' Someone that you know is for you? Someone who wants, above all else, to see you flourish? Someone who will, when necessary, fight you, for you? Have you given them permission to address the good, the bad and the ugly in your life?
All the best,
The Daniel Foundation
Mark your calendars!
Men2Serve Sunday May 5th
We will be helping out....
A cancer patient (whose cancer recently returned) who could use some help with spring yard work.
The surviving spouse of a cancer patient who also could use some help with spring clean up.
The 'Children's Education Center' who provide day care and education for children from low income families in Phoenixville.