I once borrowed a riding mower from a neighbor and proceeded to drive it through our garage door. Yep. It's true. My next door neighbor saw it, yelled, 'Are you OK?' which was virtually the only thing she said to me in 16 years. It woulda made 'Americas Funniest Videos' had she captured it on her smartphone.
How did it happen? Well, I thought the gas pedal was the brake and vice versa. As I approached the garage door I hit the brake (which was actually the gas), at which point the speed increased, which in turn caused me to hit the brake (i.e. the gas) all the more, which increased my speed, which caused me to hit the brake (gas) even harder as I drew ever nearer to said garage door. Upon impact, I continued to hit the 'brake' (gas) until I was half way through the garage, at which point I simply turned off the engine.
I was at the local YMCA yesterday getting dressed when I overheard a man who was talking on his phone in the locker room. The conversation went something like this:
‘I just don’t have any place to stay tonite.
Yeah. They violated my privacy and looked in my bag and found a couple of bottles of Scotch in there.
Said they smelled booze on my breath,. No, I wasn’t drunk. I never get drunk.
Cant believe they violated my privacy like that!’
I was left to conclude that I was listening to a man who was driving his mower through a garage door.
He keeps hitting the gas, thinking it's the brake... and consequently, is making a mess of his life.
He thinks alcohol will ease his pain but it only makes his life more painful.
He thinks blaming others will save face, but it only leaves him more debased.
He thinks that rules don't apply to him, only to discover that the rules on the street are far more ruthless.
Sadly, he seems nowhere near recognizing that he's got it precisely backwards. Many never do, but when it happens, it's a wonder to see.